My Epilepsy Story

It’s 2016, I’m a senior in high school and struggling to understand why I can’t control my eye movements. I would roll my eyes constantly. I went to a specialist, and they couldn’t find anything after several EEGS. For awhile they thought I was simply allergic to antihistamines. In 2018, I had around 40 eye rolls and counting, and everyone around me was noticing. I went back to the doctor, and this time, when the EEG was ordered, everything became official. I finally knew what was wrong — I was officially diagnosed with epilepsy.

This was only the beginning. It took multiple tries to find out the best medication for me. They caused rashes, and the medication that finally worked made me extremely tired. I was falling asleep in class no matter how much sleep I would get the night before. Almost every time I’d go to the doctor, my medication was increased since the seizures weren’t stopping, when all I wanted was to get off the medication and get on the road to getting better. But that was far from my reality, and still is.

In 2018, I skipped two doses of my medication because I was stubborn and convinced I didn’t need it. I was very stressed at work, and my seizures are triggered by stress BIG TIME. On April 14, 2018, I had my first grand mal seizure where I fell on the floor in front of hundreds of people. Only one person called 911 — my boyfriend and dear friend Cory. 

I don’t remember much about that day, but I do remember the doctor telling me I was cleared to go home and then taking me on a walk at the hospital and only seeing pure black darkness. I ended up having a second seizure that lasted five minutes long. I’m very blessed that I survived with no brain damage. I’m also lucky I didn’t fall. Afterward, I couldn’t drive for four years. I felt like I had lost all my freedom.

The road to recovery has been challenging. I am currently on 3,500 milligrams of medication which is the maximum dosage level for someone my age and height.

I refuse to back down and let my disability define me. I am stronger than my epilepsy, and I have an extra push to watch my mental health. When I started working on myself and doing what works for me, my seizures got a little little better. I can’t drink alcohol or get pregnant while on this medication. My goal is to be medication-free one day, and I will do whatever it takes to get there while also encouraging other people to defy the odds and not let anyone tell them they can’t achieve their dreams because of a diagnosis. If there’s a will, there’s a way.